It’s the second week of Colton’s eventual deflowering, which means date cards are coming. Chris Harrison shows up at the mansion to test his new catchphrase: The first group date is Demi, Bri, Tracey, Elise, […]
Episode 1: Thank God for DVR
Like Neil Lane, Reality TV Ph.D has once again risen from the grave to recap Colton’s quest for love. Give a belated Nobel Prize to whatever engineering genius figured out how to make DVR a […]
This Ends Poorly
Becca’s quest for love has come to an end, and I think we can all say with confidence that she did not pick a winner! Let’s relive the three hour slog to the finish line […]
The Men Yell All
The Tell All episodes are brazenly useless filler episodes, but Chris Harrison has kids to put through college so here we are. With no linear storyline to recap, here’s some RANDOM JUDGING: WORST DRESSED Initially […]
Justice for Chachi
Becca and the remaining husbands are flown out to Thailand for Fantasy Suite week. She’s “in love with two men and falling in love with a third”. How exhausting! BLAKE’S DATE Blake hasn’t seen Becca […]
Holy Hometowns, Batman
It’s hometowns! This week, Becca’s meeting the husband’s families in staged rental homes all over the country. There’s a lot to cover, so let’s get to it! GARRETT’S HOMETOWN: THE RURAL PART OF CALIFORNIA THAT […]
So Much Conch
It’s Week 7 of the Bachelorette, and Becca and her remaining husbands are in the Bahamas. Weeks 5 and 6 were typical of the mid season Bachelor franchise slump (bleak and terribly stupid) and work […]
Don’t Say That You Love Me
So much happened on this week’s Bachelorette, and so very little of it was good! Let’s dive right in to these two hours that felt like twelve. ROSE CEREMONY 1 David returns, and they really […]
Two Ambulances in One Episode
Before we get into all of the stupid action of Week 3, can we discuss HOW HAUNTED THE BACHELOR MANSION IS? From the exterior, the mansion appears to be spacious and well tended. But if […]
TRAAAAAASH
Week 2 kicks off with a group date card arriving for Clay, Chris R (side note: why the R? Does Christon also go by Chris, or is there another generic dude here I missed?) David […]