With the Winter Games being a much more enjoyable watch, I’ve neglected to cover the last few weeks of Arie’s Journey of Love®. Here’s what we missed: Bekah with the Short Hair went missing (turns […]
Bachelor Winter Games: Closing Ceremonies
MATH TIME! If there’s an Arie episode Monday, Winter Games Tuesday, the Winter Games finale Thursday (plus an extra hour of a tell-all), and the Women Tell All Sunday, how many hours of the Bachelor […]
Bachelor Winter Games: Winter of Our Discontent
The finish line is in sight for Winter Games – the grand finale is Thursday, followed by Arie’s finale on Monday. Oh, and a Women Tell All special Sunday night. THIS IS ENTIRELY TOO MUCH […]
Bachelor Winter Games: Au Revoir, Benoit
Chris Harrison and his dark acolytes at ABC are trying to kill us all with 6 hours a week of Bachelor action. I’m drawn to Winter Games like a raccoon to a dumpster behind a […]
Bachelor Winter Games: Christmas Came Early
Look, I’ve made it clear that I’m not riding hard for Arie as the Bachelor. He’s old and boring. Even Chris Harrison has cut back on how much he appears in each episode. I figured […]
Episode 6: The City of Uuuuggghhhh
This week, Arie and his lady friends head to Paris! For whatever diabolical reason, the women are confined to U by Uniworld River Cruise. It’s unclear if they’re allowed to leave the boat, except for […]
Episode 5: The Big Luyendowski
I missed the first 10 minutes or so trying to open a bottle of wine with a difficult cork, so sorryboutsies. Let’s see, Maquel comes back and everyone is like “omg how was your grandpa’s […]
Episode 4: Doomsdate
Good news, everyone! The Bachelor mansion needs to be bleached, which means this week the contestants are all off to beautiful Lake Tahoe. Arie is already in Lake Tahoe, staying at…the Hard Rock Hotel??? I […]
Episode 3: Oh my GLOB
It’s only Week 3, and one of the Laurens says she’s “emotionally and physically drained”. Chris Harrison’s ears perk up at the sound of human suffering, so he apparates into the mansion to drop off […]
Episode 2: Vehicular Manslaughter
“Good morning!” Chris Harrison greets the 21 survivors of last night’s cocktail party. “It’s so great to see you all so happy, but it’s not going to last.” He drops the inaugural date card of […]